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Friday, May 27, 2005

Ann Elk

I mentioned her in the previous. Ann Elk (played by the inimitable John Cleese) is one of the truly great characters from classic Monty Python. (H = very proper British host called Chris, played I think by Eric Idle or maybe Graham Chapman; A = Ann Elk.) H: Now, Miss Elk - Anne - you have a new theory about the brontosaurus. A: Can I just say here, Chris for one moment, that I have a new theory about the brontosaurus? H: Uh... Exactly... What is it? A: Where? H: No! No, what is your theory? A: What is my theory? H: Yes! [getting peeved] A: What is my theory that it is? Yes. Well, you may well ask what is my theory. H: I am asking. A: And well you may. Yes, my word, you may well ask what it is, this theory of mine. Well, this theory, that I have, that is to say, which is mine,... is mine. H: I know it's yours! What is it? A: ... Where? ... Oh! Oh! What is my theory? H: Yes! [Furious] A: Ahh! My theory, that I have, follows the lines that I am about to relate. [starts prolonged throat clearing] H: [under breath] Oh, God... [Anne still clearing throat] A: The Theory, by A. Elk - that's "A" for Anne", it's not by a elk. H: Right... A: [clears throat] This theory, which belongs to me, is as follows... [more throat clearing] This is how it goes... [clears throat] The next thing that I am about to say is my theory. [clears throat] Ready? H: [wimpers] A: The Theory, by A. Elk [Miss]. My theory is along the following lines... H: [under breath] God! A: ...All brontosauruses are thin at one end; much, much thicker in the middle and then thin again at the far end. That is the theory that I have and which is mine and what it is, too. H: That's it, is it? A: Right, Chris! H: Well, Anne, this theory of yours seems to have hit the nail right on the head. A: ... and it's mine.