THE LOSER KEEPS ON LOSING: "They gave me a hat," John Kerry says. "I have the hat to this day," he declares, rising to pull it from his briefcase. "I have the hat." Yes, but does John Kerry have a brain? The guy who has been running for president for three decades has apparently decided that the best way to build a case for a repeat candidacy in 2008 is to return the Swift Boat charges to center stage. This is kind of like Gary Hart returning to the dock of the Monkey Business, this time with his arm around his wife, assuring us how good their marriage is these days. Kind of like Mike Dukakis calling a news conference in 2006 to assure us there was good reason to put that helmet on his head tin 1988. If I were a hardcore GOP partisan I'd urge Kerry to keep pressing his claim — but that would go against my abiding conviction that a fight should be called when a boxer has sustained one too many blows to the head and starts doing t'ai chi in the ring while reciting Ulysses. Dear John Kerry: Shut up about the Swift Boat charges. Or be ready to relive them in endless detail.