PITY THE KID: Who says San Francisco is unfriendly to family values? Who would think such a thing? Who would dare be so judgmental, so unfriendly toward the marvelous diversity of a community where family planning and flower arranging occur on pretty much the same basis? What you're about to read has nothing to do with flowers, and arguably it has nothing to do with families of the healthy variety. But of course that's what makes this story arguable. From San Francisco Chronicle columnists Matier & Ross:
Stork sighting: Think of it as sort of a "Will & Grace" meets "Ellen DeGeneres" -- in a whole new version of "Leave it to Beaver" set in the Castro. Gay Supervisor Bevan Dufty and his longtime lesbian friend Rebecca Goldfader are pregnant. Mother-to-be Goldfader -- a nurse practitioner -- said she and Dufty have been friends for about seven years. Both wanted to start a family and both decided it was now or never. "Neither one of us are spring chickens," Goldfader said. "I'm pushing 40, and so there wasn't a lot of time." The couple -- or "co-parents," as they like to be called -- plan to move in together after the birth, but will continue leading separate romantic lives. "I realize that this may seem a non-traditional family to a lot of people," the 51-year-old Dufty said. "But we see it more as part of a wave of new types of families that has been coming for some time." As for how paternity might affect Dufty's love life? "I've been dating the same man I met on Valentine's Day," Dufty said. "Lucky for me, he's one of eight children -- so he's very 'child positive.' "Now let us together identify (and celebrate, in the name of diversity!) the basic tenets of this story. 1. The couple decided it was "time" to bring forth a child into the world, because, well, their clocks were ticking. Replace "bring forth a child" with "train for a marathon" or "take that cruise to Alaska" or "buy into that timeshare in Reno" or "undergo liposuction" and you'll get the point. In the Brave New World of San Francisco's radical Left, creating a child is a "lifestyle choice" of the 3M kind: all about Me, Myself, Mine. ("But is it good for the kid?" is a hopelessly old-fashioned and very misguided question. Please keep such thoughts to yourself, or you will be charged with a hate crime.) 2. The two adult biological specimens (pleased to call themselves "co-parents") will share a house while sleeping with others. Oh, joy. What surprises lay in store for the little one who leaves the crib to crawl into bed with male or female parent and ... whomever. 3. This is all about the future, the veritable "leading edge" of societal evolution. If you disagree, you are provincial, reactionary, unenlightened, mean-spirited, bigoted, prejudiced. Hateful, did we mention that?) 4. The sperm donor wants us to appreciate that he's not some fly-by-night type, oh no. He's been in a committed relationship for, oh, 6 weeks. With a man who likes kids, no less. (At least that's what I think "child-positive" means. Where's Orwell when we need his skills at translating doublespeak?) Imagine the world into which this kid will be born — and I mean "world" in the most specific sense, the family life this child will be asked to adapt to and embrace as normal. I take that back. You don't have to imagine that. It's a cruel request. I wouldn't want to be offensive or anything.